[00:00:00] Jessy: Hi everyone and welcome to the WIIM Podcast. Women in Influencer Marketing is a first of its kind exclusive networking group made up of inspirational women. This podcast is where we explore influencer marketing and get real about women in business. Find us wherever you download podcasts, and of course, you can always find us at iamwiim.com. That’s iamwiim.com.
Hey guys, what’s going on? Holy shit. This is the last episode of 2022. How do you guys feel this past year went? We just had a really interesting, State Of The Union with a lot of really awesome panelists from DBA and from TikTok and from Hunter PR and a lot of other companies.
We had a really interesting exercise and discussion, looking back to look forward. There are a lot of shared experiences and what everyone went through for 2022 and I’m curious if you honestly reflected back on this year, how did you feel? Do you feel proud of yourself or what you accomplished? Do you feel like you wish you accomplished more? Do you feel like, nervous about 2023 or excited about a lot of new changes.
I feel like in our world, I don’t know, I feel really motivated, for 2023, but also more calm. Which is probably a really good thing. I feel like the last couple years I’ve been like very anxious, very anxious in fact about what the future would bring and a lot of pressure, self-inflicted pressure.
But yeah, this year, I feel a lot of calm energy, which is good. I feel like we finally have, we’re in a good place and like forever growing, but I’m pretty optimistic about this next year. We’re leaning really heavily into these in-person meetups and experiences, which weirdly enough feels like less pressure.
So I feel like just putting a bunch of incredible people in a room together ,the magic will just happen. There’s so much planning that goes into all of that, don’t get me wrong, but I also think it’s take the wheel sort of thing, once the day happens. Once the day is here.
So, yeah. If you are in LA, we’re traveling through or want to travel through. We have this incredible event coming up on January 10th, 2023 in just like a couple weeks from when I’m recording this episode, my birthday week. In LA we’re hosting this beautiful event at Shine Talent Group has a beautiful house in West Hollywood and that’s where we’re hosting that event and it’s sponsored by Shine and by Magic Links.
And we’re so grateful to have them both, make this event possible. But if you’re on the East coast though, we have another event coming very shortly after February 8th is our New York experience. Very similar event, but on the island of Manhattan. I will be at both and I am so excited to meet some of you guys in person. So many of you guys have bought tickets and it’s gonna be such a good time.
So this week’s episode, we’re gonna get into it in just a sec, but, I am gonna be honest with you guys. I was putting so much pressure on myself, like why do I want the last episode of the year to be, how do I wanna end the year? I’m a little woo-hoo sometimes and I wanna set the intention for the following year and just really have a very grounded episode.
I didn’t want it to just be another interview. I did want it to be a solo episode, so I put this off and put this off, and I’m recording this at the last second possible , but today I’m gonna be sharing with you the top five habits that I recommend personally to create a healthy and happier 2023.
And what I would, is for you guys to add yours to say which ones you agree with, which ones you may be disagree with, and also tell me, if you had your top five list, like what habits do you have or do you wanna have or do you recommend having so we can all together have a healthy and happy 2023.
So yeah, let’s get into it.
All right guys, so today I’m going to be sharing with you again the top five habits that I recommend to create a healthy and happy 2023. No, I am no expert on any of this stuff, so my preface is that obviously these are just things that have personally worked for me, and my hope is that you guys can basically be like my best friends.
Like I’m talking to my girlfriends, we’re at dinner having a drink, and I could just share with you guys what’s worked for me and I hope that it works for you guys cause I do want everyone to have not just a happy 2023, but a healthy 2023. I think that emphasis has gotten more and more strong the older that I got.
So I am going to start with number one. And these are in no particular order. Number one we’re starting off hot. Boundaries. I was actually just listening to a entire podcast about boundaries. That’s probably why it’s top of mind.
But boundaries are so incredibly important and I also think they’re really important to talk about within the confines of WIIM. We’re a women’s focused organization and I never really wanna lose sight of that. It was so important to me to make this a women’s focused networking organization back in 2017 when we started, cause do think that there are just specific concepts and issues that we as women experience, that if we put a spotlight on them more and more often, hopefully we can improve them, make them better, and not have them be issues anymore. And boundaries is such a huge thing that I still think to this day, while it’s spoken about and, in a productive, healthy way, I definitely feel like there’s so much room for improvement.
The podcast I was listening to earlier was pretty interesting and, I never listened to this podcast, but it was Kaitlyn Bristowe’s Off the Vine Podcast and it was like a couple episodes ago. I’ll link it in the show notes if you guys wanna listen to that episode, but, they were talking about how there are two very opposite sides of the spectrum.
One could be that you’re a boundary boss, but then the other part could be that you’re a boundary bully is interesting. And then Kinda going over the difference, right? Because, while some people might applaud when you set incredibly firm boundaries and like you do, one thing, I cut you out forever, they were actually saying that’s sort of like a boundary bully and that’s not actually very healthy either.
This is what they were saying and I’ll share my two cents. Like they were really saying that, you should put boundaries in place where, for example, if someone asks you to make a decision and they say they need it, ASAP, you can absolutely set a boundary and say you know my decision making timeframe is a couple days.
I take 24 to 48 hours to really think about big decisions in my life because well they’re big decisions and I wanna weigh the pros and cons. If you can wait 24 to 48 hours, I would really appreciate it and I’d be happy to get an answer back to you by then, but if not, then my answer is no at this moment, cause I haven’t given myself the proper time to think about it.
I think one of the reasons why I really enjoy this conversation in particular was because it’s like living a lot in the gray. It’s not so black and white. And I appreciated that aspect of the conversation.
So for example, you have a client who is incredibly demanding. Do you have to just shut down the conversation the second that it gets uncomfortable? You could, and it would be a right to do but, I think that it’s also really healthy to set that, put boundaries in place where it actually opens up lines of communication.
So for example, if a client is really pushing you for something and you’re just like, really feeling uncomfortable about it, saying what I just said, which is, I’m gonna need 24 to 48 hours to give you opinion about this.
And no exploitation needed, that could be the end of your sentence. And hopefully they would say, okay. And if they don’t, they say like well I don’t have that time. I need it now. Having the backbone and just stand up for yourself and whatever your boundaries are and whatever you decide your boundaries should be. I think that everyone’s boundaries are so different and as they should be because it’s based on a comfort level.
Anyways, boundaries, guys. I think that just being mindful about what your boundaries should be, that you are allowed to have boundaries and that really sticking by your boundaries takes a lot of practice, I think is a really powerful thing.
So habit number one, that I would love for all of us to build upon for a healthy and happy 2023 boundaries.
Number two, reciprocity. So actually I had to look up the word reciprocity to make sure that, that is what I meant to say here, but it is. I was like, is that what I’m looking for? So reciprocity, hold on, I’m gonna look it up one more time so I can read it to you guys.
Reciprocity. Okay, so Google what is reciprocity in a relationship? And it says reciprocity in relationships is the mutual exchange of energy and support between partners and I love that. I thought that was perfect. I was like, okay, my mind isn’t messing with me. That is actually the word that I wanted to say.
I’ve been really moved, this past year by a couple stories that we’ve covered in WIIM. One of ’em, of course, you guys have heard a lot about the Carter Agency and I’ve just done so many interviews about that story in particular and really came to this conclusion that, there were too many people turning a blind eye and there wasn’t any reciprocity. And it really has made me incredibly sad.
I won’t get too into it cause I know Lord knows we’ve covered that topic so many times on this podcast and in the group and everything, and it’s just become something that I’ve personally been really, enthusiastic talking about and making a change in our industry. And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, definitely check back the last few episodes, have definitely covered all of that, and certainly our TikTok and things like that too.
But the idea for reciprocity is so important to me. Why? Basically it’s like the simple principle that like I will do to you what I want done to me, and really looking out for each other and really speaking up for each other too.
I think that, it’s the tiniest bit of energy and effort is if you see something, you say something. But I feel like real reciprocity isn’t just there. It isn’t just that it doesn’t stop there. If I were going through an incredibly hard time in my life, I would want somebody to call me. I would want somebody to like really ask me how I am and instead of a two second text, like really have a 30 minute conversation with me. You know Every scenario is different of course. And I guess my point is, is do to others what you want done to yourself.
So reciprocity, incredibly important. And I think that, while I’m not a very religious person, hence the fact that I’m the Jew with a ton of Christmasy photos on my Instagram, I do consider myself pretty spiritual and I just, I really believe in the energy that goes out is the energy that you get back.
Reciprocity is exactly that principle. So just think about how you would wanna be treated and what you would really want people to do for you if you were in a bad position. And while saying something and speaking up is the first step. I actually feel like people can go a lot further and can like really make us think about something or really be there for someone in a more meaningful way. Like Go deeper with people.
All right, number three, we are pivoting. The habit that I recommend to create a healthy and happy life for 2023. Automation. All right. Very different from what we’ve been speaking about. if you followed this podcast or WIIM long enough, you have certainly heard me talk a lot about automations and how much of a game changer it can be.
I use things like Zapier. I use things like Calendly and I have created so many systems that basically, give me structure and routine in my personal life and my professional life that makes my experience infinitely better.
So those are a couple tools that I recommend. Again, Zapier. Calendly. I personally use Tidycal. It’s the cheaper very similar tool. And you can also explore our marketplace. WIIM’s marketplace. I am wiim.com/marketplace. In fact, to explore some other automation tools.
I did a whole masterclass on like how to automate your business. So there’s a lot more to it, but that is always something that I will recommend because I think the overarching goal for me at least, is to carve out all of the manic energy, and the stuff that can be done by an automation tool.
I don’t wanna have to do stuff that could easily be done by a tool. To make me happier in 2023, I wanna be thinking about really dynamic things in my business and, enjoying deeper moments with my family. So if a little gadget or a little tool can, take care of the rest, then God speed. That’s what I want. So automation huge.
All right, the next thing, speaking your mind. I feel like this is like we, we touched on this a little bit even earlier, talking about reciprocity, talking about boundaries. But speaking your mind, I think I think It’s incredibly important, what I wanna encourage, and I I will share a very vulnerable thing, which is as much as I preach speaking your mind, to you guys, to my stepdaughter on a regular basis, I have found that I have actually been shrinking a little bit in terms of how much I personally speak my mind, particularly on the internet.
I’ve shared a few things even of late and certainly in the past few months where I’ve gotten my ass handed to me and I can look back and say maybe I didn’t express it how I wanted to, and maybe I didn’t express it correctly, or maybe I could have done this or that or the other.
But I have shrunk a little bit in terms of being comfortable speaking my mind because of how much criticism I’ve gotten specifically on the internet. I find that I am much, less willing to speak my mind to perfect strangers, and I am much more cautious about who I am really really open with.
With all that being said, so you and I will work on these habits together cause I’m not there yet. I think we should all speak our minds. Cause I do think that part of the reason, why I’ve had a negative experience is because not enough people are speaking their minds.
I think that, the loudest voices on the internet, are just that they’re just the loudest voices on the internet. And I think that if more of us were brave enough to really, truly stand up for people, speak our minds, really step in if you think that you should, then maybe I personally would’ve had a different experience or you would’ve had a different experience.
There’s very few instances where I see that happening. Sometimes I do, but it’s far and few between. So be brave. Speak your mind. Put your thoughts out there. And I guess the last thing I wanna add to that is a professional slant, which is, we’re all so busy advocating for the influencers that we represent or working for the brands and creating their brand, messaging and all of those things.
And I think that we forget about our own personal branding. And just knowing that in the world that we live in, careers at a company like that. It might be shorter than you think, and you could always be on the job market faster than you would like, and just the world is changing and ever changing, and you could be infinitely more attractive in the job market, if you have a personal brand, and I think personal brands also open up so much more possibilities because let’s say they cut your role at your job and let’s say now you’re on the job market. I think that it would open up your prospects a lot more if you had built up your personal brand a bit.
But I also think what’s interesting is you have more options because perhaps you could even start to monetize some of your personal brand versus always relying on other people for a paycheck. So that’s a whole other topic for a whole other day. But the habit I guess, that I wanted to recommend was just generally speaking your mind.
And the last habit that I cosign, wholeheartedly recommend for a healthy and happy 2023 is what I used to have as the background of my cell phone. I looked at it every single day. I only recently changed it, but the saying, work hard, be kind.
We just spend so much time with our coworkers and our boss and our clients than our families in so many instances. In most instances. And I feel as if, so I’ll be vulnerable with you guys. When I was coming up in my career and I had bosses and managers who were dictating my work experience, it was very rare to find somebody who was kind very rare.
But I remember the hell out of those people, and I also remember the hell out of those people, who were so unkind to me, and we’re basically in a power trip. I know that it could be challenging for some people to progress in your career and develop a little bit of an ego. I am guilty of it. I think if a lot of us are being honest that we’re guilty. Guilty is charged.
But I think that all of this stuff that I’ve been talking about today, it just takes an intention and it takes mindfulness to say, okay, that’s my ego talking. For example, this person who works for me right now, this fictitious person, like it’s the holidays and I just wanna give them like some extra time with their family or an extra bonus in their paycheck or some free lunch or just like a kind word or checking in on people. So, we are all working so, so incredibly hard and I just want us all to express appreciation for each other. And the two phrases really go hand in hand to me. Work hard. And be kind.
I hope this wasn’t like incredibly hokey and silly. I hope that you guys take this stuff in. These are things that I am certainly working on and these are things that I wish for you, just habits that we could all tighten up and be better at.
And it’s what I wanted to leave you guys with for 2022 and going into 2023. I want you guys to have a incredibly fun, New Year. I hope you have fun plans. I see you guys, who maybe don’t have family or have a lot of friends close by or have recently lost someone. I know that not everybody’s holiday seasons are bright and merry and I just wanna acknowledge you guys because i’ve been there.
And I always think of those scenarios because not enough people acknowledge them. So I see you guys, and I hope all of you in particular find your happiness and find your calm and your peace. And then for everyone else who does have family and friends or fun plans, I wish you enjoy the hell out of it.
Have a wonderful rest of your 2022 and we will see you all back here in WIIM for 2023. And I hope to see you guys in person January 10th for our LA experience and February 8th for our New York experience. Bye guys.
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